I’m sorry to hear that, and I know this can be very difficult. You may be able to come up with new strategies to meet your need as times goes on, but I have another proposal for now:

Let’s take a step back from our strategies for a moment and look at the broader context of this situation. We generally don’t experience only one feeling or need at a time, and it’s possible that there are other needs at play here, influencing your reactions to this situation, that you may not be completely aware of.

Especially you’re very attached to a particular strategy, there may be another need arising out of this situation (or from other situations in your life).

I know this can be frustrating. You accomplished a great deal in getting to this stage and identifying your feelings and needs. You have every right to be proud of yourself! I’m proud of you.

If you like, you can use this process over again to help you understand and meet this other need. Would you like to try?